He went a couple months working diligently in the office he called the shed. To be fair, he went from a large privately traded company to a small private business. None the less, the look on his face every day when he left for work hurt my heart. He wasn't happy.
Seeing the one you love so unhappy hurts. When we were in Jamaica I had my Chris back. He wasn't worrying about having to go to work in the morning. He was himself again. And then we got back home and having to go back to the office took the life out of him. It was literally making him sick.
This Monday he had reached the end of his rope and I couldn't take seeing my guy this way any longer. He talked to his boss and let him know it wasn't working. That same day he had a meeting with his old boss to see if his old position had been filled {it hadn't!}. She said that she had to meet with her boss, but if it was up to her she would love to have him back.
And now we are waiting. Chris is a saver the way I am was a spender. We have enough to last at least six months without an income. (god help me!) I know we are going to be ok. I trust Chris, I know in my heart he will not lead our family astray. But? I can't help but worry. I can't help but hold my breath every time his phone vibrates. I can't stop the what if? thoughts.
But he needs me to be strong. He needs me to be there to say it is ok. To remind him that his boss is a busy lady and will call when she gets a spare second. To tell him that if for some reason he can't get his old job back it will be ok. Things, everything, happens for a reason. Our life together from the very beginning is proof to that. I need to remind him of this. To give him faith that it is and will be ok. And I will keep my fears inside, because they won't make anything easier for anyone.
